And yet, because the American justice system is broken, Ruth was able to parlay his wealth and popularity into never once being charged with a crime.
Over at The Platoon Advantage, there is some important, potentially lifesaving information being offered. I only thank the heavens that I was deemed worthy of passing it along, much like a psychic conduit to the spirit world.
“Dear Friend and/or Loved One of a Baseball Fan,
As you may be aware, the Major League Baseball season is about to culminate in the World Series, baseball’s biggest event. While it is a joyous time, with the top two teams squaring off against each other, it also marks the end of baseball for the winter. In life, there is death, et cetera et cetera. While many fans have no problem transitioning back to civilian life once that final out is recorded, it is difficult for some to say goodbye. To make life as easy as possible for both you and the baseball fan in your life, I thought you should know some important information.
While your baseball fan is excited to spend time with you once again, please know that it’s hard to break habits that have accumulated over the last six months. You may notice them checking phantom scores on their phone while the two of you are out to dinner or you may hear them shout during a funeral service,”The stupid MLB.tv app isn’t showing any games!” This is all part of the healing process and it is with your patience that they will get through this trying time. Many have found that speaking in soothing, calming voices, much like one would use when talking to a baby bird or pet rabbit work best. While it may be trying, do your best to not get angry. This will only send the baseball fan into a shame spiral, setting their recovery back into an endless series of Mark Prior-esque rehabilitations.”
The rest is all over at The Platoon Advantage, so get busy clicking or get busy dying.
Raul Ibanez hits his 2nd home run to walk-off after hitting a game-tying homer in the 9th.
In this week’s edition of “Dead People Being Forced to Do Things They May or May Not Have Agreed to Do Had They Been Living,” here comes the Joltin’ Joe Sparkling Espresso beverage.
From the press release:
“Aptly named, this all-natural sparkling espresso delivers a jolt of energy either for a morning caffeine kick or for energy throughout the day. Joltin’ Joe is made with natural espresso coffee and contains no artificial flavors, colors or preservatives.”
You know, just like Joe DiMaggio!
Not that DiMaggio would have been too offended to see his product on the shelves. After all, the man did stump for Mr. Coffee:
And just how was DiMaggio convinced to sell Mr. Coffee? Vincent Marotta, the man behind Mr. Coffee, explains:
I searched around Cleveland for Mr. DiMaggio’s unlisted telephone number. He lived in San Francisco. And I found a fellow who knew his unlisted number, and I rang Joe DiMaggio up on a Saturday morning. It was about 11:00; I shall never forget this. He answered the phone and I told him who I was, and of course, he said, `What’s the name of that product?’ And I said, `Mr. Coffee. You haven’t heard of it, Mr. DiMaggio, ‘cause it’s brand-new.’ And he said, `Well, I have heard of it.’ He said, `Yes, I was playing in a golf tournament last week. I won one as a prize.’ And I said to myself, `Hallelujah, hallelujah.’ I said, `Well, that’s it, Mr. DiMaggio. I’d like you to be my spokesman.’ And he said, `Well, I don’t think so,’ OK?
Oh. Well, the story obviously has a different ending, but you should check out the NPR interview for that.
I’m going to guess that, unless Arizona figured out a way to use Thomas Edison’s machine to speak to the dead, that no conversation like this happened.
The drink is supposed to begin rolling out in New York shortly with a country-wide expansion following. If you’ve always wanted to honor DiMaggio’s memory with a drink, but didn’t know how, I guess this is your ticket.